How do we forgive?
Jul 02, 2020
When we make the decision to be free, within our heart, it requires work, amongst our busy schedules and hectic lives.
Our intention is witnessed by our innate self, or the Infinite Source. Setting aside time can be difficult, but is rewarding.
We begin with acceptance of the emotions which arise, in our early stages of opening our hearts to forgiveness.
We give ourselves permission to feel whatever arises.
We speak to our higher selves and ask for
guidance and courage.
We ask for strength to be kind and gentle to ourselves.
We ask for compassion to fill our hearts. In the process of forgiving we include ourselves as one to be forgiven. When we are compassionate to ourselves, we are then able to extend that compassion to others.
Some use daily affirmations, to ask for
Others may seek support with spiritual and mental health advisors, who may-be able to offer different ways of seeing the world. An objective person will offer new insights and ideas, to help us move forward and support us during the period we wish to dedicate to the process.
Other supports include utilising meditation to soften any ill feelings that may occur. During the process, we ask the Infinite Source to carry the load. To be with us. To nurture us and in co-creation with our heart and mind, help set us free.
Over the last thirty years, researchers have attempted to understand the role of forgiveness in healing.
In 2016, a systematic review and meta-analysis on forgiveness based interventions was conducted.
This looked at various forgiveness interventions, including the Enright, REACH models and suggests, forgiveness therapy has the ability to reduce anger, hostility, stress and distress and increase healthier feelings.
Results have also shown, the longer a person committed to the therapy, they experienced an increased feeling of forgiveness.
Psychologist Professor Everett Worthington, has been researching the power of forgiveness since the 90s and developed the REACH model, of which he provides free resources for those interested in taking these steps to heal one's heart.
There is also emerging research on the effects of trauma on future generations in the field of psychology and how symptoms of depression and anxiety can manifest in children of those who have experienced suffering, known as intergenerational trauma.
This opens up dialogue and the need to explore, the role of forgiveness and its ability to influence future generations. It is important however, to keep in mind, forgiveness is an experience of the forgiver.
A genuine commitment yields better lasting, sincere and healing results, rather than a forced guilt trip about the need to forgive to save humanity.
Honouring and Serving,
Simran K. Rattan MD
Akhtar, S., Barlow, J (2016) Forgiveness Therapy for the Promotion of Mental Well-Being: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis, Volume: 19 issue: 1, page(s): 107-12, Trauma, Violence and Abuse